Talks from the Past
by PlaceForUs
Summary: The heroes (and heroines) of the Mortal Instruments and the Infernal Devices finally meet up in one sass filled extravaganza, but sass is sort of guaranteed when the Herondale's are involved.
1. Segment One: Herondales & Lightwoods

**(EDIT: So after having a quick read through after uploading it, I realised my grammar sucked. So I did _another, better _fix up, so hopefully it's bearable to read)**

**Hey, so if you've read through my profile you'll know I used to be Bibee, but something went wrong with the account, hence _the new shiny super duper special_ account. Basically I'm just re-uploading some of the stories I had up before the whole page crash thingy, so here is the first chapter of 'Talks From the Past' with a few tweaks and fix ups.**

**And before I forget, BOLD will be the host (moi) and **NORMAL **will be whoever I'm talking to.****  
**

**Hope you guys enjoy ;)**

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**Hello and welcome to 'Talks from the Past', I'm your host Bibee. On todays show, we'll be introducing the characters of The Mortal instruments to their ancestors from The Infernal Devices. First off, we have William and Jace Herondale. Com'on out here Will!**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Collar Full* - Panic! at the Disco

Will: Where am I?

**You're in the studio**

Will: Why am I in the studio?

**Just shut up for a second, okay. Jace still has to come on.**

Will: Who the bloody hell is Jace?

**Will someone get Jace out here!?**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *When a Fire Starts to Burn* - Disclosure

Jace: Was that really necessary?

**Yep**

Jace: Where am I anyways?

**You two just don't shut up do you? Anyways, welcome Will and Jace. So how _are_ our favourite Herondale boys?**

Jace: Actually, I go by Lightwood.

Will: What!? You ungrateful mongrel, you choose to be a _Lightworm_ over me!?

Jace: A what?

Will: Bloody great brutes, first they take my sister, and now the fruit of my very own loins!

Jace: Never say the word 'loins' ever again or I swear to god I'll jump out that window.

Will: Calm down _Lightworm_, don't get your panties in a knot...

Jace: Wait a sec... why does he look so much like Alec?

Will: I believe the proper term your looking for is 'Why does Alec look so much like _me_.' Considering I'm his great-great-great-great uncle.

Jace: Wait, I thought _I _was the fruit of your loins?

Will: I am you bloody idiot, but Cecily married that Lightworm bastard, sending _my_ good looks down _his_ bloodline.

**Okay boys, calm down. Why don't we move on? It seems you two have a bit in common, seeing that you both had self-declared curses of sorts. **

Jace: Right, I heard about you. I can't believe you _actually_ believed that demon.

Will: Like you can talk Goldie Locks, at least my curse was real. _To love is to destroy_, I can't believe you fell for _that_!

Jace: Correct me if I'm wrong, but as I understand it, you never _had_ a curse.

Will: At least I wasn't in love with my sister.

Jace: At least I didn't sleep with my parabatai's fiancé.

Will: That's probably because your parabatai is gay.

**Sorry Will, but I'm with Jace on this one. That _was_ a pretty dog move.**

Will:...Your mouth is moving, and it's forming words, but it doesn't make any sense.

Jace: A bit like talking to Simon.

Will: Or Henry, half the things that come out of his mouth are complete nonsense.

Jace: We should put them on a date.

**I think I preferred it when you two didn't like each other.**

Jace: Yeah, but no one cares what you think, 'cos you kidnapped us.

Will: Quite right my blond friend.

**Okay, I've had enough of your sass-**

Will: I hear we are quite infamous for that.

**-Jace, you can go back to your dressing room, Will, you stay here. There's some people I'd like you to meet. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Cecily-**

Will: Believe it or not I already know her.

**I am regretting making this damn show every second that passes. _As I was saying_, please welcome Cecily, Alec and Isabelle!**

(_Studio Audience Cheers_) (_Cue Entrance Song_) *Hey Brother* - Avicii

Will: Well hello my darling sister.

Cecily: Please shut up Will, you lower the IQ of the entire street.

Isabelle: Who are you two?

**Let me introduce you all. Alec and Isabelle, meet Will and Cecily Herondale-**

Alec: What do they have to do with us?

**If you'll let me _finish_, Alec, Isabelle, this is Will and Cecily Herondale. Will and Cecily, meet Alec and Isabelle Lightwood.**

Will: Huh, I guess my genetics _are_ being put to good use then.

Isabelle: What?

Cecily: Ignore Will, he's cryptic at the best of times. You two look awfully alike, and vaguely familiar...

**That might be because these, Cecily, are your descendants from the 21st century.**

Cecily: That explains a bit, but they look nothing like Gabriel-

Will: Hence why their so attractive. That poor girl though failed to inherit my dazzling set of eyes.

Isabelle: Thanks, pleasure to meet you too...

Alec: So... you're Will Herondale?

Will: The one and only..

Alec: Then you wouldn't by any chance know a warlock named Magnus Bane?

Will: Of course I do, him and I are on very good terms.

Alec: Oh, I see... (scowl)

**I'm afraid that's all we've got time for for now, stay tuned because after the break we'll be talking to our favourite flamboyant glitter ball, Magnus Bane!**

Will: Does that mean I can leave now?

**You know what? No, your in the time out corner. We'll be back after this short break.**

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**So that's the first chapter. I added some little one liners and deleted some stuff that made me cringe (seriously my humour now is _really _different. Tumblr has done cruel things to me).**

**A few of you might have caught the Sherlock quote in there, and for those who didn't, well you know know :)**

**I'll probably update this time next week, so until then follow favourite and review if you want more of these TID TMI interactions. Bye bye!**

**~ PFU**


	2. Segment Two: Bane and Friends

**(EDIT: So is really starting to piss me off. It turns out that some of the dialogue cut out halfway through a sentence. I fixed it, and will make sure to read through _the whole thing_ next time I upload)**

**A little of a late update, but that's only because A) I have horrible memory and B) I had netbal training after school. But anyways, here it is, the next chapter. And also, if you have any requests for characters and anything like that, just send me a PM or put it in a review :)**

**Okay, here we go...**

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**Hello and welcome back to Talks from the Past, where we are introducing The Infernal Devices characters to their descendants. Now Magnus Bane, who lived through not only The Mortal Instruments but The Infernal devices also, joins us. Come on out Magnus!**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Global Concepts* - Robert DeLong

**Magnus**: Hello Britney dear, lovely to see you as always, but do tell me, why is Will sitting in that corner?

**He was being a smart-ass so I banished him to the time out corner, but he can come back now, we need to talk with him.**

**Will**: See, I knew you wanted me

Shut up Will, okay, now everyone re-welcome Alec!

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Still Into You* - Paramore

**Alec**: Was that really necessary?

**Yes, I trust you all know each other?**

**Magnus**: Allow me, Will, Alec, Alec, Will, Blue eyed boys, Magnus. Done

**Uh, right. Um, Magnus would you like to also explain yours and Alec****'s relationship?**

Magnus: Will, Alec is my ex.

Will: What!?

Alec: Yeah, you heard right, he got rid of us both.

Will: I'm not sure what _you_ are talking about, but the last time I saw Magnus he was ogling Tessa's cleavage at Benedict Lightworm's party.

Alec: Tessa! Who's Tessa! Did you sleep with her as well?

Will: I bloody well hope not!

Alec: What, were you and Magnus dating then?

Will: Magnus and I never dated, what the hell are you on about Lightworm?

Alec: So... you guys _aren't_ exes?

Will: I thought that Magnus was straight, he was with Camille Belcourt-

Magnus: I see myself more as a free-wheeling bisexual

Will: Where did you get the stupid idea that I dated Magnus?

Alec: ...Camille Belcourt...

Magnus: I may have a confession to make, Will, you know the night you woke up on my couch and Camille was there?

Will: Yeees...

Magnus: Well, I may or may not have told her you were my boy-toy while you were sleeping. SURPRISE!

Will: You've got to be kidding...

Magnus: Nope

**Okay, this is getting tense, how 'bout we swap over. Boys, Magnus, you can leave. Isabelle, come out here, same with you Jessamine.**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Ready or Not* - Bridgit Mendler

**Jessamine**: What is she wearing!

**Isabelle**: What is up with you Victorian age chicks, I thought you were supposed to be polite?

**Jessamine**: I am the definition of polite, but its a mini-skirt, get with the times

**Jessamine**: And, are those Marks on your arms!

**Isabelle**: No shit, It you just a ray of sun shine

**I honestly thought this would work out better, I can see this isnll be right back after a few words form our sponsors.**

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**I wrote this a while ago, so yeah it's shorter than what I'm exactly used to. **

**Also, I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm writing a Mortal Instruments and Percy Jackson crossover, so if you think you would interested, send me a PM or review, I'd like to see how many of you guys there are :)**

**OH! If you have a request simply type down the characters (and even some dialogue if you want something specific in it) and I'll get to work. Just remember that I'm uploading the old chapters first, so the newer ones won't come in until maybe two or three updates from now**

**Bye!**

**~PFU**


	3. Segment Three: Unexpected Guests

**I just got back from Netball training and it was raining and it was just horrible. Anyways, after a nice _long_ shower, I am bringing you guys the next chapter of Talks from the Past (ACTUALLY ON TIME!)**

**So read on, and don't forget, if you have a scenario in your head don't be scared to PM me or write about it in a review. I'm completely open for suggestions.**

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**Welcome back and with me is Consul Charlotte Fairchild and her husband Henry Branwell, along with Jocelyn and Clary Fairchild.**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Thrift Shop* - Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis

Clary: So, _you're_ the one to blame for my hair.

Henry: Uh, beg your pardon?

Clary: Nothing...

Jocelyn: Clary, be polite. So, Charlotte was it? How did you end up being Consul when you lived in a time when woman didn't really have much of a place?

Charlotte: It was a grueling process, my opinions were second guessed, no one listened-

Clary: Can we stop adult talk please?

Henry: Yes, I think I agree with Clary. It's all very dull darling.

**Oh Henry, just one of the kids aren't you?**

Henry: Pardon?

**Nothing, nothing. Jocelyn, Charlotte, if you like you can talk in your dressing rooms, Henry, play with this for a while in yours. (Tosses Henry iPhone)**

Henry: Oh my!

Clary: What about me?

**Grab Jace and come back, Will! Tessa! Come in here!**

Will: You just can't get enough can you?

Tessa: Will, behave yourself, we're meeting new people and I don't want you to ruin it for me

Will: Tessa, one of them is related to us, I'm pretty sure they have to like us. And the other is a short red-head, how hard can it be?

Clary: Ex-cuse me?

Tessa: Good job Will, you've gone and made them hate us already, now there might be great-great-great-great-great grandchildren I'll never meet.

Jace: Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.

Will: See, that one, he's got my looks doesn't he?

Tessa: Will... Shut up

Will: Pleasure to make your acquaintance (Kisses Clary's hand)

Clary: Oh, um... (Blushes)

Jace: Okay, that's enough of that (Shoves Will)

Will: Oh really? (Shoves back)

Jace: Yep (Tackles Will off stage)

Clary: _JACE!_

Tessa: _WILL!_ They never learn, do they?

Clary: You have no idea

**We'll be back after this break. Thank you for watching Talks from the Past, next time, we'll-**

?: I think you missed someone...

**Aaaaaand who would that be?**

Jonathan M: Me

Nate: And me

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *I Could be the One* - Avicii and Nicky Romero

**Hey! Who cued that song!? 'Cos that was super creepy!**

Jonathan M: Did you miss me?

**Yeah, of _course_ I missed the creepy-ass brother committee. Go ahead, take a seat. This'll be interesting. So, how do you both feel after abandoning, violating, tricking, or doing all of the above, to your sisters? Go on, I'm curious.**

Nate: Technically, Theresa isn't my sister.

**Yeah yeah, just answer the question. She trusted you and you tricked her into thinking you cared for her and then abandoned her. Thoughts?**

Nate: Ouch

Jonathan M: That's a bit harsh, don't you think?

**Yes, sorry, I should be asking how _you_ feel, shouldn't I? So how 'bout it, you _seduced_ Clary, knowing she was your sister while she didn't, _manipulated_ her, _beat_ her _bloody_ and took the love of her life away from her, ending in her _stabbing him_ just to get him back. How do _you_ feel?**

Jonathan M: I'd do it all again

Nate: Wait, you seduced your sister!?

Jonathan M: Egyptians use to marry their siblings, it strengthened the bloodlines.

**I've had enough of your crazy, Magnus!**

Magnus: Don't worry, I'm on it. (Snaps fingers and Nate and Jonathan disappear)

**Thanks Magnus. That it for Talks from the Past, hope to see you soon and goodnight!**

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**That it for this week.**

**Thank you guys for reading this and giving the fic a chance, and PM me or review what you'd like to see happen to out lovely little Shadowhunters next!**

**~PFU**


	4. Segment Four: Couples Edition Pt 1

**Netball training was surprisingly enjoyable tonight (maybe because I've gotten past the stage of being intimidated of my whole team).**

**So tonights update is a little later than usual because I actually went through and added more stuff, so hopefully you be able to pick out where my 'new' writing style starts off. I was also pretty worried to find that each chapter was gradually getting shorter, so I've fixed that (for now)**

**I'll stop rambling now. **

* * *

**Aaaaaand we're back! And ready to continue introducing the shadowhunters, past _and_ present, to their relatives. And to mix things up a little and because I feel like it, we're going to make it a _Couples Edition_! First up, we have Magnus and Alec!**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Burn* - Ellie Goulding

Magnus: I don't understand what you want to talk to us for, it's not like we're together anymore.

**Yes you are.**

Magnus: No, we're not-

**I'd stop talking, you might upset the viewers and we _need_ the ratings. We don't talk about that. The fandom _does not talk about that._**

Alec: Alrighty then...

**So Magnus, how's Alec in bed?**

Alec: OKAY THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER.

Magnus: I don't know, I think I'm starting to bond with this girl...

Alec: THAT'S IT. I'M DONE. YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL AND I AM _DONE._

**Well that was just rude.**

Magnus: Tell me about it.

**All right Magnus, you can go back to your dressing room, or Alec's if you like. Your choice.**

Magnus: *Grumbles* How many times do I have to say it, we're not toge-

**How many times do I have to tell _you_, we do not speak of that, we do not even _think_ about that. Comprende?**

Magnus: Yeah yeah. I'm out *Snaps fingers and disappears in blue flames*.

**Alrighty, now we're gonna bring out Izzy and Simon!**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Peacock* - Katy Perry

Simon: Well that was a bit uncomfortable...

**So Izzy, Simon, does this mean you're officially a couple now? No certain werewolves on the side?**

Isabelle: Yes, there are definitely _no_ werewolves sharing my boyfriend.

**SO IT'S OFFICIAL!? YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOTTEN OVER YOUR COMMITMENT ISSUES AND HAVE ACCEPTED YOUR LOVE FOR SIMON?!**

Isabelle: I-I, well, um...

Simon: It's okay. You don't have to say it *puts arm around her and smooches like the cutie patootie he is*

**YOU TWO ARE JUST TOO CUTE.**

Simon: Wait, what?

**I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.**

Isabelle: Okay Bibee, deep breaths, in, out, in, out. Think of happy, canon thoughts.

**Okay, I think I'm good. Um, so. Simon, hows being a vampire doin' for you?**

Simon: It's pretty cool-

Isabelle: -and majorly hot.

Simon: *blushes* Huh, um. Okay.

**Vampire Mojo strikes again!**

Simon: Jeez, you're worse than Eric.

**Okay, you two can leave. Next, our beautiful, traumatised, completely and utterly adorable sass balls, Clary and Jace!**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Clarity* - Zedd

Jace: Sass balls? Really?

**You got a problem with that?**

Jace: A little. Couldn't you have come up with something like, teen heartthrob? Sexy and ripped out of this world?

Clace: Asshat works fine as well.

**You two are just adorable, you know that? **

Jace: Well, one of us is.

Clary: Jerk (hits his shoulder).

Jace: Ouch! I meant you!

**Yep. Adorbs. So how's the whole 'no touchy' thing going?**

Jace: It can be... _difficult_, at times. Especially when _someone_ doesn't think 'hey, maybe I shouldn't wear fishnets with this skirt around my boyfriend who might turn me to cinders if he so much as breathes too heavily in my direction.'

Clary: I stand by that decision, I looked great

Magnus: I hear that!

**You two are so cute, can you two bring out Tessa and Jem?**

Clary: Wait, who's Jem?

**Just look for a Brother Zachariah looking guy with manners to compete with Tom Hiddleston.**

Clary: Shouldn't be too hard.

Jace: Jem! Get out here you glorious bastard!

**Oh my god you really are a Herondale.**

Jace: You just figured that out?

Jem: Sorry to intrude, but have you seen Will? Slightly shorter, dark hair, sarcastic beyond belief.

**He comes in blond if you want him.**

Jem: Uh, thanks for the offer, but I'll pass. I think one Herondale is quite enough stress for a single person to handle.

**Ahh, but you're not _single_, are you Jemmy dear?**

Jem: *blushing* Well, I , Uh-

**Tessa! I think we broke Jem!**

Tessa: Stop teasing him *kisses Jem on cheek*.

Jem: *Blushes madly*

**Why don't you two take a seat and we'll get started. Clary and Jace, you two can just dag around until I need you again.**

Jace: *whispers* She's so _Australian_.

Clary: *whispers* Shut up.

**Jem, what was it like as a Silent Brother? Surely it must be strange to talk again, not to mention that fact that you can't sneak around like a little ninja anymore.**

Jem: It's certainly strange to see everyone again, especially Will. By the way, how _did _ you manage that?

**I don't know, some technical stuff that Magnus did, I'm just the pretty face behind the operation.**

Magnus: _Liiiiiiiieeeeeees_

**Anyways, back on track. Tessa, what's it like to be with someone after so long?**

Tessa: I-I'm not quite sure what you mean-

**Have you done the frickle frackle?**

(Same time)

Tessa: _I am not answering that!_

Jem: How _old _are you?!

**Age is just a number sweetie. Looks like that is all we have time for here on Talks from the Past. Meet us next week and we'll continue our very special _Couples Edition!_**

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**That's that for this week, I'll talk to you guys next Wednesday then :) Also, if you have any ideas, remember to PM me or put it in a review because I am quickly running out of ideas and idk I'm enjoying this ficlet more than I thought I would.**

**(If any of you were wondering I added the Australian comment because I couldn't think of a different word for dag and I'm not sure whether it's going to make any sense, but hey, that's what urban dictionary is for.)**

**Bye byes**

**~PFU**


	5. Segment Five: Couples Edition Pt 2

**Sorry for the late-ish update (technically it's still Wednesday for another 20 minutes), I don't really have an excuse except every time I tried to write I got side-tracked or though 'hey, you know what'd be cool? Let's watch all the Harry Potter movies. Yeah. I don't have any other commitments'. I'm smart like that you see.**

**Here's the latest chapter with a shameful 600 words because I couldn't think of anything. I really need suggestions guys, I'm dying over here! I hate giving you guys tiny chapters :,(**

**ONWARDS**

* * *

**Hey there! Here we are at Talks from the Past once again, here to speak with our favourite TMI and TID couples in our 2 part _Couples Edition_. Next up, we have Jordan and Maia.**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Bad Moon Rising* - Morning Ritual

**So you guys are like underdogs, aren't you. No pun intended.**

Jordan: Yeah, I guess you could say that

Maia: It's not like we try or anything, it kinda just, _happened_, you know?

**Ahhh, just like the incident at the Praetor Lupus _just kinda happened_, eh? What I don't understand is why there isn't more hype about you two, you're the only ones that have actually done the frickle frackle!**

Maia: This is quickly getting awkward

Jordan: She's right though, why isn't there more hype about us? We're awesome! And we've done the fri-

Maia: Call it 'frickle frackle' and you're never touching me again.

Jordan: -iiiiky. We've done the freaky. Yeah

Maia: You're such a dork.

**Maia, was it difficult forgiving Jordan when you saw him again, after he made you a werewolf?**

Maia: I guess deep down I had always known I'd already forgiven him, I think I just _really _needed to beat the shit out of him to get it out of my system.

Jordan: It was awesome.

Maia: And you're weird.

**Cute. Thanks for talking with us, next on the _Couples Edition_, we have Will and Jem!**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Mirrors* - Justin Timberlake

Jem: Bibee, you do realise that we aren't actually a couple-

Will: Shh, don't deny our love James dear, you know it's eternal.

**Will's right Jem, you two have been inseparable since you met, I'm pretty sure that basically makes you a couple**

Will: Hey, when do _I _get my _Couples Edition _interview with Tessa?

**I've already interviewed you both, I'm pretty sure more than once as well.**

Will: But, but it's the _Couples Edition!_ You _have_ to include us!

**I'm the boss here Will, now back to you two. How was the reunion backstage? I'm sorry we couldn't get it on film.**

Jem: That's completely fine, I think it was probably better that we reunited in private-

Will: He rugby tackled me.

Jem: I did not-

Will: He did. I have bruises to prove it.

Jem: You're making it sound like I _meant _to hurt you-

Will: Time has changed you James, I only hope our relationship won't suffer because of it.

Jem: You're unbelievable

Will: You're evil

Jem: _William I am going to choke you-_

Will: _Wooh, _I love it when you talk dirty

**I've missed you two. Anyways, we have to move on, so you two can continue your little lovers spat backstage.**

Jem: We're not lovers-

Will: _That's not what you said last night_.

Jem: And to think I actually missed you.

**Here we have Luke and Jocelyn**

(_Cue Entrance Song_) *Lighthouse* - Lucy Spraggan

**So Luke, how long were you in love with Jocelyn before you told her?**

Luke: Longer than I'd like to admit honestly. We'd known each other for ages in school, but then once Valentine showed up, and you know how he is, I had to accept that Jocelyn would never choose me over him.

Jocelyn: The only reason I stand by my decision to be with Valentine is because of Clary, she's my everything. I can't even begin to think of life without her.

**You two are probably one of my favourite underrated couples, what do you think the future will hold for you both?**

Jocelyn: I think right now we both just want to enjoy having each other and what we have and, for me at least, that's enough for now.

**So no rushing into the wedding even considering Jonathan's sinister little note?**

Jocelyn: No, we're not going to rush into this. We know that we love each other, and we're going to take our time.

**Well that's very sweet. That's all we have time for tonight ladies and gentlemen, join us next week and we'll continue to speak to everyone from TMI and TID. Till next time!**

* * *

**Like I warned, _extremely _short, but I was lazy today and I had _so much free time _but I wasted it all reading bad Percy Jackson fanfiction and what am I even doing with my life. All I want is a good Pirate AU fic where they don't go from hating each others guts to making out in the span of two chapters, is that so much to ask for? (If you guys know any, whether they're TMI, TID or PJO, _please _PM me. I am in desperate need). **

**As always, remember to PM me or put your suggestions or requests in a review so I can continue this, because this ficlet (does it qualify as that?) is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment, so I'm trying to drag it out, and that's not gonna work out very well when I have no ideas. Like right now. **

**Thanks to _shipitlikeFedEx_ for requesting Jem and Will in the chapter, I was giggling the whole time writing it, so thank you (insert heart emoji here since it won't work)**

**Bye byes**

**~ PFU**


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